Monkeys
Monkeys are cool, aren’t they? I’ve always said that monkeys are bloody good. They’re like people, except they have more hair and a tail. In fact, they’re better than people, firstly because of the already noted extra limb which gives them the edge over us in the tree-climing stakes, and secondly because there is no monkey equivalent of George Bush (except perhaps for George Bush). If you needed any further evidence of how brilliant our simian cousins are, I have it in the form of this monkey picked tea, a snip at £22.95 for a 57 g bag. According to the Edible website, monkeys in China are trained to to pick wild tea that grows on cliff faces and in otherwise inaccessible places.
Some of the less appealing products available from Edible include bottles of vodka with a snake in the bottom, lollypop-encased scorpians, chocolate ant bars, chilli worm crisps, and coffee beans recovered from sumatran civet droppings and vietnamese weasel vomit. Surprisingly:
Due to the fact the cherries have been in the weasels’ gastric juices, it seems to dramatically alter the taste of the coffee once brewed.
So anyway, back with the monkeys, the smallest primate in the world is the tarsier, which is about the size of a human hand and looks like a cuddly little gremlin. They’re native to south-east asia. Now if that’s not cool I don’t know what is. If there’s anyone with particularly strong opinions for or against monkeys, please leave a comment.
July 1st, 2004 at 15:53
Monkeys are cool - they behave similarly to us and therefore we can see a lot of comparisons and feel a mutual bond. Easy to make friends with but with no sense of right or wrong they are do what they like - like us without conscience. My favs are the spider monkey and hideously fascinating blue bottomed ones (are they baboons?).
July 3rd, 2004 at 14:13
It must be awful drain on resources to train the monkeys if the tea is that expensive. I wonder if it’s any good after all that?
I think I’ve seen those scorpion lollipops. I can’t remember if it was in England or Malaysia but I was instantly repulsed. Ugh!
July 5th, 2004 at 21:30
That Edible website gave me nightmares. Have you seen the Giant Hornet honey? As someone who happens to be mildly allergic to insect bites and stings, that scared me beyond comprehension.
July 13th, 2004 at 03:26
And they smell better than the French, too.